Not a lot to say tonight. We had a great phone chat, it was way overdue and definitely soothed my pain even if temporarily. It was reaffirmed how much you really do love me...I don't know why I constantly need this reaffirmation, I suppose it has something to do with you still being sexual with your ex. Gee..imagine that. You have been great in the patience department though, so I guess I shouldn't bitch too much. You definitely handle my occasional temper tantrums well.
The highlight of the chat for me, besides the obvious laughter...and of course our little bit of naughtiness...was us daydreaming together about our future wedding. Everything from the rings, to the location, time of year and attire. God that's such a happy place for me, and to be honest...I find it moderately amusing that you are so willing to humor me in these little fantasies. I think even more charming, is the fact that you actually seem to be an eager participant most of the time. Its more than a little endearing my love.
Today you gave me crap about my glitchy cell phone. Its been having issues for about the last year, and has been spiraling downwards at a rapid rate in the past few months. I have stubbornly been holding out in upgrading it, as I'm determined to get an iPhone...for a whole lot of reasons....and right now I haven't anywhere near the spare cash to do it. You'd probably shit a brick if you knew my current financial situation. Suffice it to say its the curse of being a single mom, but I'm a pro at digging myself out of these holes. So while I know you'd freak out, I know that in a few months I'll be moderately on my feet again (until the next unforeseen disaster strikes). With all that being said...you jokingly made reference to getting me a phone. I suppose there are a whole lot of women in my current state of affairs that would jump at the chance to have 'their man' take care of them in that way. I'm just not like that. I haven't had someone, other than family, buying things for me since my divorce. I haven't the slightest idea how to make myself feel comfortable with you doing things like that. Even the phone thing was just said in jest, I know there are going to be times in the future where I'm going to struggle with letting you provide little treats for me. I know its going to drive you nuts...I just hope I find the words to help you understand that you're going to have to be patient with me in that regard. Its just going to take time for me to feel OK with doing stuff like that.
Well now my sleeping pill has kicked in, earlier than normal, and I'm going to try and get a decent night's sleep tonight (yeah right). I get to talk to you tomorrow at 0800 my time, and I can't fucking wait!! Tomorrow we're 8 days from being in each other's arms again....I can't believe it, we're more than half way there. I love you....its all there is to say....
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